They resent the fact that our children are our focal point. During the holiday season, narcissists have difficulty in isolating, controlling and regulating people enough to get adequate narcissistic supply; the attention they need to feel ‘alive’. Narcissists are painfully reminded this time of year how they cannot feel the love and joy that others can.
Dillon Roberts entered the Scottish family court system a healthy ten-month-old baby. The court would make important decisions dictating how Dillon’s childhood would unfold. Dillon left the system fifteen years later, psychologically harmed and suicidal. He was abused during child contact and emotionally harmed by the court process itself. Dillon’s story is not uncommon –Continue reading “We Will End the Inhumane Treatment and Suffering of Children in the Family Courts”
Post-separation, a coercively controlling abuser will do all they can to maintain power and control over the domestic abuse victim. They will conduct judicial terrorism and use the family courts to continue to cause pain.
The family courts don’t yet recognize narcissism or coercive control. They trivialize and diminish a domestic abuse case, labelling it ‘high conflict’, creating a narrative of warring parents and a vengeful, bitter or disruptive mother. Some media outlets make the same mistake; they victim blame, and they re-traumatize.
“He had form, and plenty of it. The court knew and ignored it. He displayed all the red flags that make anyone with any experience of violent offenders poise to spring into protective action when they hear it.” @forlittlekeira
Scotland is a compassionate country, yet some mistake Scotland’s kindness for weakness and report our country to be a ‘soft touch’ when it comes to justice. Coercive control and domestic violence have been a burden on our economy and our society for years and it disproportionately affects women.
This week I met with Minister Alex Chalk, the Under-Secretary of State, and asked for the government’s position on a separate provision for survivors to access justice.
When domestic abuse victims leave a controlling and often violent relationship, they have two hopes; a peaceful life, free from pain, and a safe and healthy environment for their child. Their hopes get shattered when they enter the draconian family courts.
Nobody expects to be disbelieved, especially after years of abuse. The abused are already speaking from a place of inequality and they are then made to feel that they are liars. This is exactly what happens to victims in the family court. Not only are they disbelieved, they are blamed for the very abuse that they suffered. This is unacceptable and one of the many factors that #thecourtsaidNI campaign is hoping to change.
I was deeply saddened, if not horrified, to read the unsound advice given by esteemed journalist, Mariella Frostrup, to a victim of coercive control in the Observer (6 September 2020). The victim had written to the publication about her desperate circumstances. She had split with her husband when their son was just three. Despite yearsContinue reading “Mariella Frostrup: victim-blaming does a disservice to survivors”